Our Daughter, Alex
I have written a lot about Nick and how I feel about leaving him without a dad. I posted a while ago about how I have written him a whole series of letters for him to read and reflect on through his life in case I am not around. I haven’t done the same for my daughter Alex.
As you may know, Alex is autistic, does not speak and does not understand my situation. All I can do is continue to pour love into her in hopes that she will somehow grow to be happy, healthy and somewhat independent. It has been very difficult for Jeanette and I to raise Alex. There have been years of late nights, uncontrollable crying, self-injurious behavior and constant active supervision. We used to equate caring for her to that of two year old triplets. Few could possibly understand what it is like.
It is hard to believe that Alex turns 10 on Valentine’s Day. This week we received an email from a teacher’s aid that works with Alex daily. Her words brought tears to our eyes and I wanted to share it with all of you.
“Dear Mrs. and Mr. Prouty,
My name is Marina and I have been working with Alex on regular basis at ABC school since July of 2005. As I am leaving the school right now, I wanted to let you know just how much Alex has managed to impress and win me over during that time. To be honest, she was a bit rough to get to know in the beginning, but as I did get to know her, she completely blew me away with her incredible potential for learning, her amazing and mischievous sense of humor, and her more and more frequent displays of affection.
I am writing you mainly because I realized just how proud I am of Alex and everything she has managed to accomplish in the short time I knew her. I look at her and I know that she is capable of so much; she is naturally clever, she loves praise, and just recently she has began to do tasks at school entirely on her own - meaning she is developing some intrinsic motivation to learn. Yes, they are simple tasks that she knows how to do well to begin with, but she likes the sense of accomplishment she gets when she finishes them, and that is the first step.
Her ability to learn numerous signs and then not only understand them but to use them to initiate communication with myself and others gives me great hope that Alex's communicative abilities will continue to grow and help her deal with the world. Her receptive language skills alone are impressive - she constantly surprises people by understanding what is said even when complex syntax is used. As she learned to communicate more and more effectively, her frustration levels have gone down significantly, as all of us at the school saw. The behavioral change in her has been unbelievable - with the occasional exceptions of her getting frustrated, Alex is such a happy little girl - we get to see her lovely smile and dimples every day.
I realize that I could probably talk forever about how smart, wonderful, sweet, and fun your daughter is, because it is all true. Working with her has been an absolute pleasure and incredibly rewarding - to see her use the skills she learned in class and apply them to the world outside of school has warmed my heart; her playfulness has made me laugh day after day, and her hugs have made me cry because she is just so sweet (and she seems to know just when you need one). I will miss her. I am grateful for the opportunity I had to get to know her, and I hope you are really, really proud of Alex - she is capable of much more than anybody imagines.
Sincerely yours, Marina”
Doug on 02.07.07 @ 03:02 PM PST [link]
Tuesday, February 6th
Warming to Yoga
Balancing on one leg with my other out behind me, I was trying to make my body into the letter “T.” What I was really doing was trying not to fall into the person next to me. Before the instructor let us change, I had to cheat and put my other foot down. I used the moment to grab a sip of water since I had been sweating pretty well since I walked into the room. Its called Hot Yoga, or locally we have a couple studios going by Bikram Yoga.
I had tried yoga about six or eight months ago and couldn’t stick with it. Yoga is supposed to be the ideal exercise for Type A blood types according to the book. Plus I am searching for a way to build strength and flexibility. I would also like to try and slow my metabolism down a little. I want to thank Lisa G. for recommending I try Bikram Yoga because I think it is going to work for me. They keep the yoga room somewhere around 100 degrees and you have to cover your yoga mat with towels to keep it dry. Then you work for 90 minutes on various poses. The heat feels good to me and usually alleviates pain that I have. Through this, hot tubs and saunas have been my friends.
According to their web site, “The Bikram Method of Hatha Yoga is a series of twenty-six poses and two breathing exercises designed to provide a total body workout. By the end of this ninety minute class you will have worked every muscle, tendon, joint, ligament, internal organ and gland, while systematically moving fresh, oxygenated blood throughout your entire body.”
Considering how soar I am today, I think the exercise found some muscles that I haven’t worked in some time. Still, I will go in again tomorrow to try that balance thing again. Maybe I will move my mat next to someone else this time.
Doug on 02.06.07 @ 03:47 PM PST [link]
Saturday, February 3rd
Photos from another trip
Last night I landed safely after a long day of travel. It is great to be back home with the family and back in my own bed. The last few days, besides time in Cologne, I also spent a day or two in Bonn and Dusseldorf. Here are a few photos from the trip. The one on the right is me anda bust of Beethoven taken at Beethoven's birth house museum in Bonn. Here is my recent web album.
Doug on 02.03.07 @ 07:32 AM PST [link]
Thursday, February 1st
Smoking Section
I am having a harder time breathing these days so maybe I am more sensitive. Second-hand smoke really seems to bug me – both physically and emotionally. Originally, I didn’t think twice about why my cancer metastasized to my lungs since I never smoked cigarettes. However, I was recently reminded that I did spend about 10 continuous years in a rock band. There was a good period there where we played about three nights a week in bars and rehearsed another two or three in a small room. These were the days when people crowded smoke filled clubs. Also, our other guitarist smoked heavily just under my nose. That means I was exposed on a regular basis. I am not sure if this is to blame but certainly something to think about.
Do you remember when the person next to you at a restaurant could light up right in the middle of your meal? Maybe your parents smoked as well. It was not until I have been back in Europe, that I realize how nice it is that smoking has been banned indoors in California. I just spent an hour eating dinner in a restaurant in Düsseldorf and I am consumed. I came out coughing and now sit in my hotel room with my clothes reeking. There is no escape over here.
With 66,000 people a year dying because of smoking and 50% of their kids lighting up each day, France has now passed a law this year that will ban smoking in schools, hospitals and restaurants.
Since 2004, cigarette packs in the Europe Union have a big black and white label on the front just under the brand that tries to tell people in various ways, that smoking is bad for you. There are 14 different sayings such as, “Smoking Kills”, “Smoking is bad for your skin”, “Secondhand smoke kills” and others. From what I see, the warnings are not working. Now, they are starting to feature color images along with their sayings. Belgium is first to feature these new warnings and others will follow soon. You can see more here.
I am impressed by our public education that has worked hard to educate our children about the dangers of drugs and smoking. It is impressive that our kids are vehement against smoking. When Nick was about 5, he saw his first smoker and stared for the longest time trying to understand what they were doing. Now, he wonders why they are killing themselves. I think he represents a healthier and greener generation.
Doug on 02.01.07 @ 02:53 AM PST [link]
Past Posts
Greetings from London. I am in between visits to Cologne and came to London for a week of theater and politics. Been busy convincing Tony Blair to pull more troups out of Iraq. Yesterday, I got a chance to watch thousands of others do the same thing.
Well, this Monday it is time to head over to Europe again. This trip should be very interesting. My plans are to arrive at the Frankfurt Airport early enough to catch a speed train into Cologne before 9:30am Tuesday. I am scheduled to arrive in the Frankfurt Airport at 7:10am and the high-speed train leaves about 8:10 am taking about an hour to get to Cologne. So if all goes according to plan, I will have my blood drawn, and then jump back on the train by 10:15 to get to London by 1:00pm. Hopefully, this is enough time to make it to the Thérèse Raquin at the National Theatre by 2:15pm. My big concern is that on this flight, I have a layover in Washington DC. The way the East Coast airports were working last week there is no guarantee I will make it.