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02/26/2008: "Slowing Down the Bus"
Lately I have been trying not to think too much about death – Been there, done that. However, it seems I keep bumping into TV characters that echo my issues or feelings. Jeanette and I love to watch CSI. Not the Miami one (can’t stand the main actor) but the one set in Las Vegas. Recently, that show’s main character (Grissom) was contemplating his own death at the conclusion of an episode. He decided that he would rather die of cancer so he had time to tie up loose ends, make his peace with loved ones and maybe take a final trip or two. I too have discovered that advanced stage cancer is like getting hit by a slow bus. You can see it coming down the road and you have some time before it gets there.
This week we rented the movie, “The Invisible.” Though a good movie, I didn’t realize that the main character was named Nick whose dad died of cancer when he was 13 years old. I know art reflects life but this is a little too close.
Finally, I was watching an interview of a cancer survivor the other day. She said something that I have felt before and even shared with Jeanette (maybe with this blog as well). I have always enjoyed watching the “Coming Attractions” in the movie theater prior to the feature. They do such a good job of teasing you and getting you excited about the release. Unfortunately, they end it with the date or time frame it will be in theaters and I always think, “Will I still be here?”
I realize there are no guarantees for any of us. Someone else’s “bus” may be traveling a lot faster than mine. Since death is inevitable, I guess there are advantages to having a rough timeline. I have spent time contemplating what it all means and now that I am focusing on living, I seem to be reminded regularly of dying. Should I stick to Romantic Comedies?
