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10/22/2007: "My Support Group"

Last week, while I was sitting in my chemo chair at Alta Bates Medical Center, the nurse asked her usual round of questions. I guess they have a standard survey form because I answered them the week before as well. She looks over the results of my blood lab work and asks questions like, how severe my side effects are, if I have pain, am I eating well, etc. One of the final questions is, “How is your mental status?” Instead of answering right away like the other questions, this one caused me to laugh. Quickly realizing that she might interpret the laugh as one from a deranged mind, I tried to clarify. “I guess I am doing OK for someone with advanced stage cancer and sitting through their third round of chemo in a little over two years.”

She went on to ask if I was involved in a support group or was getting counseling. I told her I was never much for support groups. When Jeanette and I first found out that our daughter was autistic, we attended a few groups with other parents. It never turned out to be much support and more of a chance for parents to express their anger and disappointment. Not the kind of vibrations we were looking for. A couple of years ago I attended a few sessions for cancer sufferers at the local cancer support facility. Though some talked of alternative things they were seeking, others mostly complained about symptoms, side effects, medical coverage and doctors. Not for me.

So the more I thought about it, the more I realized that this blog and all of you who read it are my support group. Here, I get the chance to share what I am going through and you get to give feedback. It is therapeutic for me, giving me an outlet that is really beneficial. So I want to thank all of you for reading this and staying with me. Your support means more than you know.

I have a lot of experience with online communities and I know that only about 10% or less of the group regularly respond or give feedback. When I am face to face with people, I realize how many people are reading and following my progress. This blog’s address has been shared by many and is also found through Google searches. So I know that I am lucky enough to have a large group of family and friends out there staying connected and supporting my family and me.

Thank you!

Replies: 14 Comments

on Wednesday, October 24th, Woody said

I, for one, have shared your blog with a bunch of folks, bud!
We're all walking the path with you, friend.

on Tuesday, October 23rd, pam said

I look forward in reading your blog every chance I get, and you are such an amazing guy! I remember coming in to visit you at 110 La Casa during your chemo treatment, there you are with your earphones and lap-top, always keeping your mind busy. My prayers are with you and your family daily. You are number 1 in my book!
Take care Doug....
Pam

on Tuesday, October 23rd, Doreen said

It was sooooo good to see you the other day. I check in with you everyday via your blog and send you my prayers and love. You are just the best and such an inspiration. Be strong and know that you have alll of us beside and behind you and anywhere else you will need us to be...

on Tuesday, October 23rd, Dawn Baird said

Like so many others, I think of you and Jeanette every day. Your blog has been a really wonderful source of information and insight. Reading it has made me a better nurse and a better friend to those in my life who need care and support. Your readers are the ones who've gained the most and we're so fortunate you've chosen this outlet for sharing your experience. What an amazing legacy you've created.

All my love to you and Jeanette, Dawn

on Monday, October 22nd, Scott & Carrie Roesling said

Hi Rock,

We read your blog several times per week. We don't see you often and it has been a wonderful way to stay connected and informed. You are in our thoughts are prayers - always.

on Monday, October 22nd, Tracy Levie said

Hi Doug,
We also feel thankful to you for sharing your thoughts and emotions so candidly. You have enriched our lives with your words of wisdom and we want so desperatly to do something helpful for you. It is wonderful to know that we are helping in some small way. We watched Randy Pauch today on Oprah and when asked what he learned from this experience he said that people are good and want to help anyway they can.
They want to do good. I thought of you and how many people out there really want to hep you and your family anyway they can.You have touched so many people and there are so many of us that wish to give back to you anyway we can and make your challenges easier.You are truly loved and appreciated by all of us other hunans. We are honored to know and experience you.......
Love Tracy and Patty

on Monday, October 22nd, KO said

Yo Batman! Like many have said and all agree, this is a mutually beneficial blog. Much love,
Robin

on Monday, October 22nd, Angela said

Hello doug, I came across your page as I was doing a google serch for Randy Pouch and I must say that you too appear to be a great guy. though I dont know how this feels as a reality for someone I do beilieve in the power of prayer. I have seen many people healed from various cancers and I believe you can be too. so doug as I pray for mr randy pouch I will pray for you. my heart goes out to you and your family and I believe that you will live and not die from this disease. be encouraged
your friend
angela

on Monday, October 22nd, Mischa said

We're out here....you are never far from our hearts!!

on Monday, October 22nd, Scott Norvell said

Doug,

I too have you in the center of my bookmark bar and I check your blog every day. Even though I have only met you through my interactions at CUE conferences, I feel like I have really gotten to know you since you started this blog. I pray for you every time I check this site (whether or not you've done a posting) and you are on my mind a lot throughout the week.

Many times I don't respond because I don't know what to say. But you are definitely not alone, even when you feel like it.

Scott

on Monday, October 22nd, Janet DuBois-Mars said

Hi Doug: Along with all the others I am with you. Most often I am speechless.......you are such an amazing teacher. And....I do pass on your lessons to others. You are the best. Janet

on Monday, October 22nd, Dianne Pavia said

Doug,
You are an amazing person and I am drawing on your courage and strength now more than ever as I am battling my own cancer - stage 4 Lymphoma. So far the chemo is working to bring down the pain and the size of my lymph nodes. Will know more from my bone marrow biopsy later this week. I am sad, scared, overwhelmed and in mourning for my former basically care free life. I would love to talk to you sometime if you are up for that. In the meantime, keep fighting and inspiring us all!!

on Monday, October 22nd, Laura Griffin said

Hi Doug,

It's great to know that you feel that way about all of us... We so want to support but sometimes are sure what we can do.
So thank you for letting us know we are helping.

You are also a wonderful support to us... I personally have learned so much and you keep me going.... I check you blog daily... You are the best....

Stay Strong,
Laura

on Monday, October 22nd, sando said

Because we all want to help and there is really only so little we can do - I do feel that reading your blog is my connection to trying to support you. You are on my bookmark bar and I check in on you more than any other topic!!