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07/20/2007: "Finding A Voice"
It looks like my vocal cords are on the mend. It has been frustrating and feels like a very slow process. One of the hardest parts has been talking on the phone. It is amazing how much you notice the frequency of calls when you have to sit there and listen to the answering machine. If I pick up or make an outgoing call, the person on the other end thinks they are getting one of those heavy breathing calls. You should have seen/heard me at the drive through window the other day - an exercise in futility and patience. Jeanette has had to make many of my appointments, arrangement and generally translate for me these past five weeks.
I am still a ways from having my voice back but I can tell that certain ranges are coming and that is encouraging. What I have missed the most is singing. I keep a couple of guitars around the house so I can pick them up and break into song when I get the urge. I am learning just how important that is to my soul. From the beginning when I learned to play guitar, I always sang along. It has been more of an accompaniment to my voice than anything. So to pick it up now and play feels hollow. The music is missing its voice. There were times when I sang and played that I could give myself goose bumps. I can certainly feel emotions and they affect my body.
So I look forward to my voice returning not only so I can talk with folks again but to sing. It doesn’t matter if I have lost the quality I had before. I am sure that my performance days are behind me. I just hope I can reach the notes and feel the song again. Music has been an important part of my life and the loss of my voice has really taught me that I need to create it as well as listen to it.
Yesterday, I pulled into a parking lot and heard the security guard singing. When I went into the store, I held the door for a couple of women who were actually complaining about the quality of her voice. And I thought, how wonderful to hear someone sing out loud without caring if it sounded good or not. I always smile when someone with headphones is singing along and they sound terrible. Imagine the good it does for their soul.
For your own health, I hope you all are singing. I’ll be joining you soon.
Replies: 9 Comments
on Sunday, July 29th, Michelle Powell said
Ah yes, the voice that sang at our wedding! Every time I hear Loggins and Messina I think of you and smile! I always have.
Love ya,
Michelle
on Sunday, July 22nd, Mischa said
One of my favorite songs from my singing circle has the following refrain: If you walk, then you can daaaaaaance, if you can talk, then you can sing...I have missed hearing your voice on the phone but feel your loving presence frequently. I hope you feel mine. I definitely am a believer in the power of song.
on Saturday, July 21st, Cindy said
Nice earring!!!!!!!!! love the picture. Weren't you in a huey lewis vid, too? 
on Saturday, July 21st, Kelly Owens said
Love the photo! Man, that was a long time ago! I'd give anything to hear you sing. My favorit memory of your voice, however, was at Clear Lake reading the tiger book to Grace. (Remember the kitten who pretended to be a Tiger?)You gave such a great lilt to the characters. I always tried to imitate the way you read it for her.
I've always thought that voices are like an artist's paintbrush ... what a terrific gift. I love the bad dancing saying! I'll be delighted to be able to use that in the future, since I have niether the gift of voice or coordination!
Peace to you and your family!
on Friday, July 20th, Mia said
I have been caught several times at a red light singing away while the driver next to me had a good laugh! Who cares? Singing in the car is one of my favorite pass times and driving is not the same without it! I had a terrible cold last week and Jacob remarked that my voice sounds better when I'm not sick. I guess that's what his ipod is for, right?
I hope your voice returns soon so you can feel that joy again. Music really is medicine for the soul.
on Friday, July 20th, Lindag said
OMG - is that you???? I wish I had looked that good back then! I never could sing - so looks were everything.
on Friday, July 20th, Helen said
Oh yeah...
LOVE the picture!
on Friday, July 20th, Woody and Ingrid said
"All you want to do is drive around, Sally." Do you remember that glorious performance? Especially, the lost verse... Now, that was Soul that was good for the soul, bro!
on Friday, July 20th, Helen said
Our friend Alice Impraim taught me a Ghanian saying that I butcher every time I try to say it, but the meaning has stayed with me. It translates to "Bad dancing doesn't hurt the earth". I believe this goes for singing also.
There's no better way to start my work day than belting out the tunes with the radio cranked as I drive in. It really doesn't matter if I can carry the tune or not, it brings me pleasure. Glad to hear your chords are on the mend, no more Darth Vadar voice!
