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07/07/2007: "“One Of These Days”"

My friend Linda just forwarded an email that started like this:

A friend of mine opened his wife's underwear drawer and picked up a silk paper wrapped package: "This, - he said - isn't any ordinary package." He unwrapped the box and stared at both the silk paper and the box.

"She got this the first time we went to New York , 8 or 9 years ago. She has never put it on, was saving it for a special occasion. Well, I guess this is it. He got near the bed and placed the gift box next to the other clothes he was taking to the funeral house, his wife had just died. He turned to me and said:

"Never save something for a special occasion. Every day in your life is a special occasion".

The person relaying the story goes on to say:

“Now I read more and clean less. I sit on the porch without worrying about anything. I spend more time with my family, and less at work. I understand that life should be a source of experience to be lived up to, not survived through. I no longer keep anything. I use crystal glasses everyday. I'll wear new clothes to go to the supermarket, if i feel like it.”

“I would regret and feel sad, because I didn't say to my brother and sisters, son and daughters, mom and dad, not enough times at least, how much I love them.”

“Now, I try not to delay, postpone or keep anything that could bring laughter and joy into our lives. And, on each morning, I say to myself that this could be a special day. Each day, each hour, each minute, is special.”

With my condition, I think of this lesson frequently, but old habits are tough to break. I have been able to leave work behind but with great difficulties as it defined much of who I am. I have been able to value my family and especially my children, spending more time with them. But finding the words to tell them everyday how hard it is to leave them early, is next to impossible. I think raising an autistic child has taught us not to sweat the small stuff. As a result, you would probably be amazed at what does not bother us domestically.

Probably the toughest to drop is the worrying. Though it may not be obvious on the exterior, I have always been a worrier on the inside. It is what feeds the stress. I think it comes from over thinking. So my goal is to reduce my worries, try and visualize and meditate more often. And there is no use to wait for “one of these days” anymore. Everyday when I wake up, I take a second to look around, soak it up, glad I’m here.

Replies: 5 Comments

on Sunday, July 8th, Brad said

Doug,
I have been in Tahoe this week during the 4th of July and have thought of you many times. I just got home last night and read the story you put out on Sat. 7/7. I truley believe what the husband had to say and I also believe how incrediable you and Jeanette have been living your life to the fullest and NOT sweeting the small stuff what I am trying to break this habit. Doug I do want you to know that you are truely teaching me alot about life and what is and what is not important. It is hard to realize this until something tragic happens although since I have known you I also have thought of you as a Free Spirit type of person and I have admired that in you. Thanks for all you notes I truly apprecaite reading your thoughts- THANK YOU.
Brad

on Sunday, July 8th, Cindy said

"What a beautiful day to be alive" is Benjy's daily mantra, has been for years, and he is 100% sincere every time he says it and he says it not just daily, but throughout the day with people he meets/greets. I wish I had your guys' outlook more often. I'm the worrier. The thinker. Raising 2 teens i think it's part of the job description. I have learned to sweat small stuff less, appreciate the simple things, and most of all, love and cherish my family and friends. Sometimes, you remind me when I check in with your progress. A long time from now, when the time comes, I hope you have one of those living memorials..so you can see how much and how many lives you have affected. You-always take care. Love Cindy

on Sunday, July 8th, Mary and Dave said

Aren't there over 87,000 minutes in each day? Time is so precious...perhaps the most important part is being in a state of gratitude all the time.....not easy for any of us all the time but still, to look at it all with wonder and awe and be grateful that we all meet and share so much love....are you a worrier? Dave and I always think of you as the king problem solver. You are pro-active and in the loop and fixing the situation before the rest of us even start for the door....you just have lots of gifts, that is for sure! Love you, Mary

on Saturday, July 7th, Mia said

I think that over thinking is a Prouty trait. I know I've lost much sleep to that same problem. This situation surely puts things into perspective. Who cares if there are dishes in the sink or whatever? They can wait. Time with family and friends can not.

The older I get the less I care about the little things. This last year off of work has made me realize how much more I enjoy my children when I'm not stressed running around trying to get everything done. In the end the material things mean very little. It's the people around you that make life special.

on Saturday, July 7th, Pam said

I'm with you Doug.....I too don't save anything anymore, I use my special candles very often now, and all the things I use to save for that special moments, well, everyday for me is a speical moments, like you says.....everyday when I wake up, I am glad I'm here! Enjoy each hour, minutes, and days, because each day is precious.