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02/09/2007: "Talking the Walk"
I used to enjoy traveling in solitude. I can remember touring the California coast by myself. Then there was the solo backpack trip to the top of Half Dome to spend the night on top. And when I moved to Vienna, I went alone. But this last trip overseas was different.
Maybe it was because I am dealing with cancer, the resulting aches and pains, and thoughts of an early demise. Maybe it was just the cold grey winter weather that overtakes Europe this time of year. Whatever it was, I was feeling melancholy. Thoughts of a death from cancer kept creeping into my head. I fought hard to keep them out, but it is a challenge when you are off by yourself with lots of time to think.
My buddy Kurt shared with me a sermon that pointed out that Jesus said we need to speak our problems in order to deal with them. We need to confront them verbally, understanding that our words have powerful control over outcomes. So being back home in “sunny” California, I am making a daily effort to say, “Cancer, I will beat you!” I think that saying also leads to belief and I understand the power of belief.
This week I had an MRI to keep an eye on the tumor in my neck. This bone tumor has my oncologist concerned. Today, she referred me to a neurosurgeon to discuss options just in case. I didn’t like the picture that put in my head. Anyway, the good news is that the MRI showed that the tumor has not increased in size since October. The pain I feel is from periodic inflammation. And, the doctors in Germany feel that my shortness of breath may be from the lung tumors being inflamed as well. All these are good signs that my immune system is trying to beat back the beast.
This is such good news. I hope it gives you some added encouragement. You are doing a marvelous job in fighting this horrible disease and we are all with you in spirit. Can't wait till you come for a visit. We miss you!!!