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02/07/2007: "Our Daughter, Alex"
I have written a lot about Nick and how I feel about leaving him without a dad. I posted a while ago about how I have written him a whole series of letters for him to read and reflect on through his life in case I am not around. I haven’t done the same for my daughter Alex.
As you may know, Alex is autistic, does not speak and does not understand my situation. All I can do is continue to pour love into her in hopes that she will somehow grow to be happy, healthy and somewhat independent. It has been very difficult for Jeanette and I to raise Alex. There have been years of late nights, uncontrollable crying, self-injurious behavior and constant active supervision. We used to equate caring for her to that of two year old triplets. Few could possibly understand what it is like.
It is hard to believe that Alex turns 10 on Valentine’s Day. This week we received an email from a teacher’s aid that works with Alex daily. Her words brought tears to our eyes and I wanted to share it with all of you.
“Dear Mrs. and Mr. Prouty,
My name is Marina and I have been working with Alex on regular basis at ABC school since July of 2005. As I am leaving the school right now, I wanted to let you know just how much Alex has managed to impress and win me over during that time. To be honest, she was a bit rough to get to know in the beginning, but as I did get to know her, she completely blew me away with her incredible potential for learning, her amazing and mischievous sense of humor, and her more and more frequent displays of affection.
I am writing you mainly because I realized just how proud I am of Alex and everything she has managed to accomplish in the short time I knew her. I look at her and I know that she is capable of so much; she is naturally clever, she loves praise, and just recently she has began to do tasks at school entirely on her own - meaning she is developing some intrinsic motivation to learn. Yes, they are simple tasks that she knows how to do well to begin with, but she likes the sense of accomplishment she gets when she finishes them, and that is the first step.
Her ability to learn numerous signs and then not only understand them but to use them to initiate communication with myself and others gives me great hope that Alex's communicative abilities will continue to grow and help her deal with the world. Her receptive language skills alone are impressive - she constantly surprises people by understanding what is said even when complex syntax is used. As she learned to communicate more and more effectively, her frustration levels have gone down significantly, as all of us at the school saw. The behavioral change in her has been unbelievable - with the occasional exceptions of her getting frustrated, Alex is such a happy little girl - we get to see her lovely smile and dimples every day.
I realize that I could probably talk forever about how smart, wonderful, sweet, and fun your daughter is, because it is all true. Working with her has been an absolute pleasure and incredibly rewarding - to see her use the skills she learned in class and apply them to the world outside of school has warmed my heart; her playfulness has made me laugh day after day, and her hugs have made me cry because she is just so sweet (and she seems to know just when you need one). I will miss her. I am grateful for the opportunity I had to get to know her, and I hope you are really, really proud of Alex - she is capable of much more than anybody imagines.
Sincerely yours, Marina”