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01/02/2007: "A New Year"
I can’t help but think that the New Year brings a new opportunity for me to beat cancer. Sometimes, that priority slips from my focus. As I start to feel OK or get engrossed in other projects, I slide into the familiar routines. I resolve to be more vigilante every day.
To me, beating cancer is more than fighting the disease, it is also fighting my old habits, emotions and beliefs. When I speak to my children, I need to pay better attention to the choice of my words, my attitude and the desired outcome of the interaction. When I spend time with Jeanette, I need to be “in the moment”, giving her everything, and not let my head move off in other directions. And I need to continue to "not sweat the small stuff."
I am thankful for the insights that this battle has brought. My understanding of other people’s struggles has grown immensely. As a result of me having cancer and because of this blog, so many people have told me of the struggles that they have been through and conquered. As a result, my tolerance of other people’s behavior and “way of being” is far greater. I guess it could have swung the other way with thoughts like, “They should be thankful that they aren’t dealing with what I am!” But that hasn’t been the case. I keep thinking of John Lennon’s writings, “What ever gets you through the night. It’s alright.”
So my resolution is to continue to love people unconditionally and to keep this battle in front of me at all times.
Tomorrow, I get to see my doctor. We will discuss the status of my health and the progress of my treatments. The good news that I have been off pain pills for the past couple of weeks (I had been on them daily for months). And the bad news that my lungs seem to be troubling me as I run a cough and feel like I only have about 2/3 the volume that I used to. Pending word from Germany, I will be heading out there again for more treatment about January 23rd.
Replies: 3 Comments
on Saturday, January 6th, Tracy Levie(Wedemyer) said
Dear Doug, I am so happy to hear about your wonderful trip via your blog. You and your family look like you had a beautiful experience. I have been thinking of you often and wondering how you're doing. Your blog is an inspiring piece of work as you are as a human being. I am in awe of you! I hope your recent doctors visit went really well and I am cheering for you every step of the way. You have an incredible insight on life and what really matters. Some people live their whole lives without ever getting to where you are. I will continue to check your blog and you are in my thoughts and prayers.Happy New Year may it be a blessing for you and your family. Love Tracy
on Wednesday, January 3rd, Tara Vaishnav said
Hi Doug
I stumbled upon your blog by accident, and have read several of your posts with great interest. We live in Alamo, on the same street as Carolyn Uhland, and have a 7th-grade son in Stone Valley Middle School. Your posts are very inspirational, and I shall keep reading them. My Uncle in Australia has been battling cancer for maybe ten years now, and has this really great attitude, which I really believe has helped tremendously. I wish you good luck with your treatment. Hopefully, we'll see you and your family around the neighborhood some time soon. Tara
on Wednesday, January 3rd, Debra G said
Why is it that it that the thought of losing something makes it more valuable to us? When it was always that valuable? I know I have told you this before but through you I have learned and am still learning how you should really live your life. I have gained enormous freedom and exhilaration to simply let the small stuff go. To allow myself to just love, accept and appreciate everything is one of the greatest gifts I have ever received. I attribute this to you. Thank you!
As far as a new opportunity for you to beat cancer, there is progress in new treatments all the time. I just read about researchers that are engineering microscopic fat bubbles into "smart bombs" by packing them with anticancer drugs and dispatching them on a mission to seek and destroy cancerous tumors. See you can even love fat!
Anyway here is one article about the new treatment:
http://healthnewsdigest.com/cgi-bin/artman/exec/view.cgi?archive=12&num=5012&printer=1
Have a happy New Year! Andy, Angelo and I send our love and prayers!
