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07/25/2006: "A Pain in the Neck"
In the last couple of weeks the pain is starting to slow me down. Over the last year, I have had some discomfort between my shoulder blades. It has felt like a stiff neck or a slight cramp. Until now, it has been pretty easy to ignore it and not let it slow me down. Swimming in college taught me to accept pain and work through it. It is ironic that the practice ignoring pain caused me to ignore the early warning signs of cancer.
I have been avoiding painkillers so that I can monitor the progress or lack of. I want to know where it hurts and what degree of pain I am feeling. Unfortunately, that is changing. Now I am trying to decide which drugs will have the least side effects. Does Vicodin make your liver work harder than Codine? Maybe accupuncture?
I can tell that nerves are being pinched. You know how it is if your back or neck gets out of alignment and you get a shooting pain down your arm or leg? Sometimes it runs across my chest or shoulder. Now it is on the right side of my neck and upper back. The last few nights have been difficult to even lay down.
Going through cancer and my prognosis naturally causes my family to go up and down emotionally. Fortunately, we have been “up” these days and I think it is mainly because I have been pretty strong physically. I am still able to wrestle with Nick in the pool and give Alex a piggyback when she requests. Besides being too skinny, I am not showing signs of decline. This last week I even decided to get serious about running again.
Next week, I will begin radiation on this neck tumor. Join me in praying that it works to kill, or at least decrease the size of this thing and I can go back to living with manageable pain.