Funeral, reception and the last few hours
Just a little info about the reception for Saturday. The mass is at 11 as you know at St. Stephen's Catholic Church at 1101 Keaveny Ct., Walnut Creek. Immediately afterward we'll have a reception in the hall attached to the church.
Many people have asked me when they can say or share something - we will be doing that in two ways. First, for the first hour at the reception, we'll have a microphone set up in a section of the hall if anyone wants to tell a story or share something. Second, in lieu of a 'memory book' we will have a memory table with a long scroll of paper on it - this way people can view it as they mingle. We'll have a place where you can write something, or you can paste on something previously written or attach a favorite photo. We'll have a "did you know" section on that table, so if you know something about Doug that some people may not, let us know!!
--Did you know that Rock was the very first Treasurer of the "Save Mt. Diablo Foundation" in the 70s?
--Did you know he could play trumpet and harmonica along with guitar? He was so modest about these things that I didn't even know until 10 years into our marriage.
--Did you know he could juggle?
I also want to tell you that it was a sweet last few hours that I spent with Rock. After 2 days of a steady stream of visitors, we were alone around 2PM on Wednesday, March 12. It was peaceful and I got to spend some nice quiet time with him. We had removed IV's, turned off the beeping monitors and it became very still. I got to talk to him, wash and massage his feet and hands. I got to pet his forehead and tell him that I would miss him and why I love him. To take care of him one last time was an honor after so many years of him doing so much for me. Although he seemed to be sleeping, I know he was aware by the way he moved his hand or squeezed mine. Nick came to see him at 8:00, and at 8:30 the nurses began to buzz around the room, as they could see the monitors from the other room. I realized that Rock was beginning to take his last breaths - I asked Nick to kiss him good-bye, and my sister whisked him away while I stayed to see a few more deep breaths, to the end.
I realize what it means now when someone says "It was for the best, his suffering is over". In the past this seemed to be just hollow words of comfort for those left behind. Although he had a life that never lost hope, he was in fact in pain and suffering these last few weeks if not months (who knows how much or how long, he never complained). He put up a great front for others, but Nick and I could see daily his struggle to get out of bed and were always amazed that he could make it out of the house. There was somehow a certain relief that he had gone to meet his maker. As he said to his last few visitors, "I'm in God's waiting room".
I am hoping that we can celebrate a life well lived by having a great time on Saturday!! This is what he wanted, and he should have it.
I waited until relatively late in life to get married because I wanted to make sure it worked. I recieved a note from a woman I used to work with, and she expressed my feeling that one should always marry for love, and the other benefits would follow:
"I’m so sorry for your loss. Unfortunately, I was only able to meet Rock once. But your relationship with Rock inspired me to be true to myself and not to settle for less than true love....You taught me so much about business, people, the world, and yes even true love. I thank you and Rock for that. I now completely understand something you told me a long time ago, “He is my heart ”.
I am feeling so thrilled that I could affect someone's life in the same way that Rock affected so many.
Jeanette on 04.02.08 @ 10:53 PM PST [link] [10 Comments]
